Going Through The Motions

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...
...I'm just going through the motions,
Not living at all...

On my own, in front of you, I am alone. It's safe to cry. Out there it's not. Out there I put on my masks. The masks that tell people I'm okay, nothing's wrong. The veils that hide the fear, the shame, lurking behind those thin emotional walls that protect me from hurt. I cry with you in the dark, because I feel that's the only safe place. To show other's my fear and shame would be to commit social suicide. When you show people a little of the truth inside, they begin to avoid you like the black plaque. I know, I've seen it happen. I've avoided friends who have shown me their weakness. The gossip, the laughter, and those condesending looks, where you just know what they're thinking,"I feel so sorry for her, but she did it to herself! I would never..."
I was one of those woman, just trying to fit in. Now, I need someone... and I have no one but myself.  I feel myself becoming colder and colder with each passing day. This morning my husband called me, "Ice Queen." This scares me... It's not who I really am... It's not who I want to be. I need someone to talk to, but there's no safe place.

Signed,

Lonely Polly all alone, hard and cold



Lonely Polly, all alone
You have me, and that's the safest place of all

The ice caps around your heart must melt for you to see who you were created to be. There are safe places to talk. Seek and you shall find them.
Trust me and I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone... Trust me and I will help you become who I created you to be. 

You are not alone!

Love,

Your Mirror


Scripture: Ezekiel 36:26

Disgusted by what I see

Mirror, mirror on the wall...
... I have big breasts, and that is all...

Here I stand before you naked. I hate my body. But I look anyways, disgusted by what I see. My husband thinks I need to get a breast reduction. I was washing the spaghetti pan and it grazed against my white shirt as I washed it. It left a tomato stain along my left breast. He questioned it.
"I guess they're just too big." I replied.
"Then you should get a breast reduction." Why would he say something like that if he found me beautiful? I'm only a 'C' cup. It's in times like these where I wish I could die. It should be me with breast cancer, not my sister.
At least he and I have something in common. We are both disgusted by what we see.

Signed,

Ugly Polly with the big knockers



Polly, Polly please stand tall...
You have healthy breasts, and that is all...

You're the one who told your husband they were too big. He was just following your lead. Respect yourself and in time he will respect you too. You need to like you, before other people will. In the mean-time take the focus off of you and see what you can do to help your sister.


Love

Your mirror




To see the first Polly story 'Beautiful after all' click here.

I Saw My Eyes

Mirror mirror on the wall...
I saw my eyes for the first time in a long time.

They were...
... they were actually beautiful...

 I stood there for 20 minutes in front of you. Avoiding you, like I avoid most things in life, yet  I made a promise to myself to at least try to look at my face. When I finally did... I was surprised... I liked my eyes.
They were mostly green, a forest green, with speckled hues of gold.
Although they were sad from years of neglect, they were warm, not cold. I actually felt a little joy at the thought of me liking my eyes. It gave me hope that I might feel the same way about the rest of me one day.
When I first met my husband he said it was my eyes that he noticed first. He used to stare into my eyes with such intensity. I miss that. I miss him looking at me with love. I miss feeling loved.
He avoids eye contact with me now. What happened? Will he ever love me again mirror?

Will I? Will I ever love all of me?

Signed,

Ugly Polly but with Beautiful Eyes


Polly, Polly please stand tall...
You are beautiful after all...

We are rich only through how we respect and what we give to others,
and poor only through how we scorn and what we refuse.

You have refused yourself for a long time now. Respect yourself, and in time other's will respect you. Respect your husband, and in time your husband will love you and stare once more into those beautiful eyes. He's a good man and you are a good woman. But, you lost each other somewhere along the way. You both let each other go, and both of you are stuck, in what's called the 'crazy cycle'. It's time for one of you to get off the bike, and find your spouse again. Don't give up.

Love,

Your Mirror


To see the next story 'Disgusted by what I see' click here.


Works Cited:
- 'Love and Respect' by Dr. Emerson Eggerich - copyright 2004 - Thomas Nelson Publishing

Beautiful After All?

Mirror, mirror on the wall...
... I'm so not beautiful after all...

I hate looking at my reflection. I really don't like what I see. I was told to look in my mirror today, and tell the image I saw there, that she was beautiful.
"Just take 10 minutes each day and stare at yourself." My friend Liz said, then she sipped her cappuccino. She had been taking an on-line counselling class, and now she was the expert on 'fixing' me and my low self image. She must have seen me flinch in disgust.
"No, really Polly... You can do it," she reached out and held my arm, "Please, just try it?"

I couldn't do it. I tried. I couldn't look the reflected image in the eyes. I couldn't make eye contact with myself. How stupid is that!
Why?
Why can't I look at me? Why is it so uncomfortable?
My husband doesn't look at me any more either. I must be ugly. Reality is... I just don't matter.

I am so not beautiful.

So, I avoid you mirror. I hate you. Because you reveal an imperfect me.

Signed,
Ugly Polly



Polly, Polly please don't fall...
I know you are beautiful after all...

I see the truth, when you stand before me. You are looking through a foggy mindset Polly. 
A clear mind is what you must find. All you need to do is come out of hiding, take the mask off, open your heart, and heal. Please know that you have someone who loves you and thinks you're beautiful every day. You are not random. You were wonderfully made, for a great purpose. It's time for you to wake up and see that.

Love,
Your Mirror


To see the next story 'I saw my eyes' click here.